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© 2019 by Lee Ann Coldsmith, Self Love and Soul Shine. 

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Your Comprehensive Self-love Report

To start things off, let me quickly say congratulations to you for taking the first steps toward better loving yourself and becoming more connected to your divine womanhood! Way to go sister! Deepening your self-awareness paves the way for more growth and transformation as you progress on this incredible journey of healing and expansion! 

 

Self-love truly is the foundation to all things in life - happiness, healthy relationships, spiritual growth, even our physical health - so by making self-love a priority you are setting yourself up for some MAJOR positive changes that will start revealing themselves almost immediately! How cool is that? 

You'll want to give yourself adequate time to get through this information. If it takes you a few sessions of sitting down and working through things, GREAT! This is not a race and self-love is not a finish line. Loving yourself and truly embodying your divine womanhood is a way of living, and the whole point of this diagnostic is to help you learn what changes you can make to begin living a more love-filled life. If this was a quick 2 minute read how much insight would you really be getting? Not much I’d guess. So give it however much time it takes. YOU DESERVE IT.

***Before you do anything else SAVE THE WEB ADDRESS FOR THIS REPORT! Either bookmark it in your browser, email it to yourself, copy and paste it into a note, or go old school and write it on a piece of paper. That way you'll have it if you need to close out the page and come back later.

The 7 Core Areas of Self-love

 

I’ve broken self-love down into seven core areas that are all equally important components to developing a solid sense of love for yourself.

 

Those seven core areas of self-love are: Boundaries, Self Care, Forgiveness, Living Mindfully, Living Intentionally, Living Authentically, and Operating at a Higher Frequency

You are going to use your responses on the Self-love Diagnostic Assessment to score your results in each of the Seven Core Areas. I would recommend grabbing a sheet of paper or making notes in your phone or laptop because you’re going to be gaining some really valuable insight from this.

Scoring

 

As a general rule, as you go through your responses, if you rated any question a 3 or below reflect on what it was about that question that made it untrue for you. This is going to give you some really specific hints on HOW you can love yourself better. 

 

If you rated any question 4 or 5 reflect on how you are specifically succeeding in those areas and take note on how you can ensure that you continue this because, girl, it’s working for you!

 

Let’s examine your results section by section. The first 4 questions relate to loving yourself by setting healthy Boundaries. Add up your ratings for questions 1-4. 

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Setting boundaries is one of your self-love strengths. Keep doing what you’re doing! See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

10 to 14 points  You need a little practice with setting boundaries. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at setting healthy boundaries in your life. Also note the areas that you’re succeeding at maintaining healthy boundaries.

 

Less than 9 points Setting healthy boundaries is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at setting healthy boundaries in your life. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is all about being able to recognize and assertively name your limits to ensure your values, priorities, and wishes are being respected. 

 

Setting boundaries also means we view our energy and time as sacred and limited, and therefore we spend it wisely. This means we only say Yes when it comes from our whole heart and with no strings attached. We do not say yes out of obligation or guilt. Similarly, we use No to honor the boundaries that speak to our hearts’ needs and wishes.

 

Additionally, setting healthy boundaries means eliminating toxic relationships and influences in our lives whether they be romantic relationships, family relationships, connections on social media, or even things such as certain news outlets. 

On the flip side, you consciously surround yourself with positive, like-minded, inspiring individuals, books, music, and social media accounts. 

 

This is all because YOU ARE WHAT YOU CONSUME. If you constantly surround yourself with toxic moods, disrespect, and negativity those are the things you will become, but if you surround yourself with inspiration, positivity, and ambition those qualities are going to start rubbing off onto you.

Tips for loving yourself better through Boundaries

  • Explore your needs, if you don’t know what your body, mind, or heart need you can’t provide it. It’s totally normal to become disconnected with ourselves in this fast paced busy world where how hard you "hustle" is the currency of self-worth. We tend to go into autopilot mode just to get through each day and fulfill our many obligations. Over time this can result in one day waking up and thinking, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Take this as an opportunity to consciously get to know your likes, dislikes, needs, values, and passions with an attitude of curiosity and exploration.

  • Know that “NO” is a complete sentence. In other words, don’t feel like you have to explain your reasons for saying no to anyone or anything. Sometimes keeping it short can actually make it easier. If someone begins pestering you for an explanation hold your ground. You can simply keep repeating some version of, “Sorry, I can’t,” “I’m not able to,” or if you feel comfortable you could give a vague explanation like, “I have a conflict,” and they will figure out you aren’t going to change your mind or divulge more information and move on. Be firm, but still polite.

  • Know that you have no obligation to say yes to everything that is asked of you. Your time and energy are yours to decide how to spend based on what aligns with your priorities and values. Remember, your Yeses are sacred, and gifted with your whole heart and no strings attached.

  • Make sure you are providing time for your needs and pleasures. Try actually making an appointment with yourself by writing self-care into your planner. (More on this in the next section).

  • Unfollow or unfriend social media accounts that do not inspire you. If there is someone who posts content that triggers you, don’t allow that person to affect your mood by constantly appearing in your feed. You will feel so much better if you fill your friends list with inspiring, uplifting accounts.

  • Be honest with yourself if a real-life relationship is toxic and take action to modify or end this relationship so that your boundaries are protected. This can be an incredibly difficult situation to navigate if you are attempting to set boundaries in a toxic relationship with a parent or spouse. In these situations I would recommend seeking the support of a Family and Marriage counselor. If that’s not an option, at the very least do some research online and find some relevant books and other resources to help you on this path. (If you need help, shoot me a DM, and I can try to help you find the resources you need).

Questions 5 through 8 relate to loving yourself by practicing Self Care. Add up your ratings for questions 5 - 8.

 

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Self Care is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Keep doing what you’re doing! See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

10 to 14 points  You need a little practice with Self Care. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at incorporating Self Care into your life. Also note the areas that you’re succeeding at loving yourself through Self Care.

 

Less than 9 points Self Care is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at incorporating Self Care into your life. Be sure to read on for some tips!

 

Self Care

 

Self Care includes all the things we do to maintain our mental and physical health health. This includes things like eating healthy foods that nourish your body, maintaining adequate hygiene and grooming habits, moving your body in an enjoyable loving way, and partaking in activities that promote relaxation and stress release like meditation, massage, etc.

 

Effective Self Care practices are different for everyone. What I find relaxing or recharging will not be the same things you prefer. That’s why its essential you find the things that WORK FOR YOU. 


If you need a little guidance, click here to check out my GIANT LIST OF SELF-CARE ACTIVITIES that is broken down into activities that will calm you, recharge you, energize you, ground you, pamper you, give you some healthy order, and allow you to set some healthy boundaries.

 

Tips for loving yourself better through Self Care:

  • It’s so important that we actually schedule in time for self-care, because what tends to happen if we don’t is that it gets pushed to the back burner, but trust me, IT NEEDS TO BE A TOP PRIORITY. The flight attendants are onto something. If you don’t put on your own oxygen mask first, you aren’t going to be able to help anyone else out. If you aren’t caring for yourself first, how in the world do you expect to be able to fulfill any of your other obligations or pursue any of your dreams? You can’t. So get out your planner and start penciling in self-care.

  • Stop trying fad diets and instead focus on eating healthy foods that nourish your body. Eating healthy doesn’t have to mean that meals are no longer delicious. In fact, since I began cleaning up my diet my cooking has actually become more exciting and even tastier! There is a huge wealth of recipes out there for healthy eating. If you aren’t sure where to start try looking into an Anti-inflammatory Protocol diet to find some tasty recipes that will help you begin to explore the joys of healthy eating while combating any inflammation you’re experiencing as a result of environmental or emotional stresses.

  • Exercise regularly to boost endorphins (feel-good chemicals in your brain), aid the immune system, and help to regulate hormones. These are ALL very important to maintaining your energy levels and overall feeling of well being.

  • Change how you think about exercise. Don’t view it negatively. Exercise is a chance to celebrate your body through movement. It is not a punishment for something you shouldn’t have eaten. You do not have to earn food. Just stop tying exercise to food altogether. If you’re really struggling with this, think back to when you were a child. What ways did you move that just made you feel GOOD? What were you doing? Probably not fasted cardio with weights tied to you, huh? You probably loved things like dancing, sports, jumping rope, hula hooping, riding your bike, roller skating, exploring the woods, going for long walks, swimming and splashing, and climbing things. Let me tell you something, you didn’t grow out of any of that, society just made you believe that as an adult you don’t have time to play. I say, F society! Start exploring those childhood loves, reconnect with how movement can be a loving celebration of your body, and see how your mindset shifts when thinking about incorporating exercise into your daily life.

  • Learn to recognize when you need a break and TAKE IT! There are no awards for pushing yourself to your breaking point. When you recognize your anxiety is going up, if you’re feeling more irritable, if your body is giving you physical symptoms, or if your immune system is rundown - these are your body’s way of telling you it needs a break. Listen. To. It.

Questions 9 through 12 relate to loving yourself through Forgiveness. Add up your ratings for questions 9 - 12.

 

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Forgiveness is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at letting go of the past in order to move on to bigger brighter things! Keep doing what you’re doing! See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

10 to 14 points  You need a little practice with forgiveness. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at using forgiveness as a way to show yourself love. Also note the areas of forgiveness that you’re succeeding in.

 

Less than 9 points  Forgiveness is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at using forgiveness as a way to show yourself love. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the actions of others (or of our past selves), it’s simply about refusing to let those behaviors continue to  destroy your peace.

 

Let that sink in.

Using forgiveness as a way to love yourself means not living in regret, shame, resentment or anger. Acceptance and forgiveness go hand and hand.

 

Tips for loving yourself through Forgiveness:

  • Accept your past decisions knowing that you did the best you could at the time.

  • Practice treating yourself with compassion and grace. If you find yourself being critical try using the “best friend trick.” Treat yourself with the same compassion and love you would give to your closest soul-sister-bestie if she were going through the same situation.

  • Focus on progress over perfection. Striving for perfection sets you up for failure, but striving for progress keeps you moving toward your goals.

  • Anytime you catch yourself thinking critical thoughts in the mirror SHUT IT DOWN. Your body is a GIFT. Your body is a vehicle for your soul to navigate this human existence. Your body is unique to you alone. Your body does INCREDIBLE things every minute of the day that you take for granted. START CELEBRATING THE LITTLE THINGS! Once you begin to revel in the power and beauty of your body separate from the societal standards of beauty that you have been conditioned to see you will begin to realize that things like breast shape, cellulite, wrinkles, etc. are all so insignificant to who you are and what you have to offer this world.

Questions 13 through 16 relate to loving yourself by Living Mindfully. Add up your scores for questions 13 - 16.

 

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Living Mindfully is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at living in the present and expressing your gratitude and joy of life. See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

10 to 14 points  You need a little practice with Living Mindfully. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at using mindfulness as a way to show yourself love. Also note the areas of mindfulness that you’re succeeding in.

 

Less than 9 points  Living Mindfully is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to get better at using mindfulness as a way to show yourself love. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Living Mindfully

 

Living mindfully means not placing too much focus on the past or future and being able to fully accept the present. Mindfulness is defined as being fully aware while not passing judgment. This means you rise above habitual automated thought patterns like worry or self-criticism. 

 

We spend a great deal of our lives never truly in the moment at hand. Instead, we’re internally focused on something else. When your mind is experiencing emotions like worry or regret you are focusing on the future or the past and not the current moment. Alternatively, when you’re scrolling through social media or binging on a Netflix show you are not present to the current moment. 

 

By practicing mindfulness we can become more in tune with our emotions and better at understanding our body’s cues. Regularly practicing mindfulness also improves our general health and well being, and contributes to  less depression, a better regulated immune response, and a greater capacity to manage stress.

 

Tips for loving yourself through Living Mindfully:

  • Take a moment each morning to check-in with yourself. Scan your body for any tension and breathe deeply to release it. Sense what emotions you are feeling and simply acknowledge that they are there and why you might be feeling them, but refrain from any self-criticism or judgment. 

  • Practice gratitude regularly. Gratitude journaling has been a bit of a hot topic lately, and that’s because IT WORKS. Making a point to find small things that you feel thankful for each day can make a BIG impact on your perception and your life. Your moods will improve, your stress levels will go down, and you’ll start recognizing more and more things to be joyful about. Check out The 5 Minute Journal app or simply use a notebook to write down 3 things you’re grateful for each morning or night.

  • Set limits on how much time you spend watching TV or logged on to social media. These types of things can easily become habitual. Have you ever caught yourself mindlessly scrolling down your Facebook feed without even really looking at it? That type of habitual behavior is STEALING your precious time and preventing you from living in the present.

  • Try scheduling in a few enjoyable, mindful Self Care activities that could replace these numbing, escape habits. For example, take a 10 minute walk and simply observe what you see around you. Have dinner with your family and engage in the moment, talk about the tastes of the foods and share interesting parts of your days. Drink a cup of tea and do nothing else but sit and feel the warmth of the liquid traveling from your mouth to your belly. Find a plant, flower, or insect that catches your interest in your yard, and closely examine all of its beautiful intricate details. All of these things might seem challenging at first, but as you begin living more and more in the present it will become more natural and enjoyable.

Questions 17 through 20 relate to loving yourself by Living Intentionally. Add up your scores for questions 17 - 20.

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Living Intentionally is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at living a life full of purpose and working toward your goals. See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

10 to 14 points  You need a little practice with Living Intentionally. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to find your purpose and work toward your goals. Also note the areas of Living Intentionally that you’re succeeding in.

 

Less than 9 points  Living Intentionally is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to find your purpose and work toward your goals. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Living Intentionally

 

Living intentionally is all about living your life with purpose and meaning. It’s about always working toward something you feel passionate about. When Living Intentionally you consciously choose to live in a healthy and meaningful way in order to best fulfill your purpose.

 

Tips for loving yourself through Living Intentionally:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. Their journeys, successes, and achievements only apply to their unique situation. None of it has anything to do with you. You cannot judge where you’re at by comparing yourself to someone else. That’s like trying to see how fast your car is going by looking at your friend’s car’s speedometer. It just won’t work, and it won’t tell you a thing. Instead, stay focused on setting small, attainable goals for yourself and always working toward progress. As long as you’re making progress you’re doing great.

  • Take responsibility for the life you’re living. If there’s something you don’t like about your life, get honest with yourself and ask yourself how you can BEGIN to make changes. Then take action. You are so powerful, all you have to do is get the ball rolling in the right direction. Then you'll begin to build momentum, and it will get easier and easier to keep moving in the right direction.

  • Set goals. In order to get somewhere we have to know where we’re going. That means you need to figure out what WILL make you happy, and then begin deciding what steps will get you there. Break down goals into smaller and smaller steps that can be achieved over the upcoming weeks, months, and years.

  • Ask yourself if you’re acting out of fear or acting out of love. Staying in a job you hate: fear or love? Staying in a toxic relationship: fear or love? Indecisive over removing your implants: fear or love? Filtering your bad ass inner goddess: fear or love? I’ve got news for you, if you continue to let fear run your life you’re only going to have a life full of unhappiness. If you start choosing love DESPITE of that fear, O-M-G GIRL, you are going to start seeing just how strong, brave, and beautiful of a woman you truly are. AND YOU ARE. I already know it.

Questions 21 through 24 relate to loving yourself by Living Authentically. Add up your scores for questions 21 - 24.

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Living Authentically is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at remaining true to your inner self. See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

14 to 10 points  You need a little practice with Living Authentically. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to remain true to your inner self as a way to show yourself love. Also note the areas of authentic living that you’re succeeding in.

 

Less than 9 points  Living Authentically is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s OK because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to remain true to yourself as a way to show yourself love. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Living Authentically 

 

Living authentically means knowing exactly who you are and what you desire. Being authentic is all about being yourself regardless of who you are around or where you are. You’re the same person whether you’re at work, at home, at church, etc. Sometimes living authentically may mean making sacrifices to remain true to yourself.

 

Tips for loving yourself through living authentically:

  • Express yo’self. Ask yourself what ways feel really good to outwardly express your inner self? Do you love tattoos? Dying or cutting your hair in a unique way? Wearing lots of jewelry? Painting? Dancing? Singing? Writing? Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to do, but you’ve held back from due to the fear of how others would react? Whatever it is, do it. Be true to yourself.

  • Talk to yourself A LOT. Ask yourself questions and listen for answers. At first you might feel like you can’t hear any answers. Trust whatever pops into your head. Be open. Keep trying. The more we listen to our intuition, the easier it is to hear her answers, and the more connected we become to our authentic selves.

  • Know your values. Take some time to reflect on what is really important to you and write it down. How do you expect to uphold your values if you don’t even know what they are? Have fun exploring what the most important values are to you. There are no right or wrong answers here.

Questions 25 through 28 relate to loving yourself by Operating at a Higher Frequency. Add up your scores for questions 25 - 28.

If you scored:

 

15 to 20 points  Operating at a Higher Frequency is one of your self-love strengths. You rock at deeply connecting with your soul energy and living in rhythm with your innermost life force. See if you can use each question to take note on specifically how you are succeeding in this area so you can ensure that you continue to love yourself in those ways.

 

14 to 10 points  You need a little practice with rising up and Operating at a Higher Frequency Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to raise your vibrations and connect more deeply with your innermost self. Also note the areas of high vibing that you’re succeeding in.

 

Less than 9 points Operating at a Higher Frequency is one of your self-love weaknesses. That’s ok because now you have the self-awareness to begin making changes and loving yourself better in this area. Use what makes each question untrue to determine specifically what you need to do to raise your vibrations and connect more deeply with your innermost self. Be sure to read on for some tips!

Operating at a Higher Frequency

 

Operating at a Higher Frequency means you identify as a transient consciousness, or in other words, you see your Self as something beyond a human and a body. 

 

You love and appreciate your body as a vehicle for your soul. It’s a tool for carrying out your human experience. 

 

You see judgment, comparisons, and concerns about appearance as shallow low-level vibrations, and recognize the energetic-soul-love-light beauty of others before their physical bodily beauty. 

 

You are totally comfortable and confident expressing your femininity and sensuality. 

 

Tips for loving yourself through Operating at a Higher Frequency:

  • Try some inward focused practices such as meditation, yoga, journaling, tai chi, etc.

  • Again, talk to yourself. The only way to connect deeper to your intuition is to TRY. 

  • Try doing some Mirror Work if you’re having trouble with loving and connecting your physical body or accessing your deep soul self. I would suggest starting by undressing, staring into your eyes in the mirror, and repeating an affirmation that feels right to you. I like the affirmation, “I’m learning to love you better.” You could also incorporate loving touch by massaging your body with moisturizer or oil as you complete your mirror work. Shoot for 5-10 minute sessions every day.

  • Masturbate. Yep, I said it. TOUCH YOUR BODY in sensual, sexual, loving ways. Explore all of the folds and angles and the softness of your body. Explore the sensations that come up when you touch yourself in different places and in different ways. Let this sink in sister: there is NO SHAME in being a sexual being. There is NO SHAME in exploring and expressing your sexuality. If you encounter feelings of shame as you begin to work through this then take it slow, acknowledge those feelings as being external to yourself - they are projections others have placed onto you, and remind yourself, “I am a perfect, sensual, sexual being.” The shower is the perfect place to do this. You’ll have the privacy and comfort of the warm water falling so you can focus on exploring your deep sensuality and beginning to harness your orgasmic energy.

Congrats Sister!

If you made it the whole way down here I am so freaking proud of you! You are taking this whole "loving yourself and raising your vibrations thing" seriously, and that's EXACTLY what you deserve! I hope that you've gained some really valuable insights from working through this diagnostic, and I hope you're excited to make some small changes that are going to improve your self-love in big ways! If you have questions about ANYTHING I am here for you. You can email me, message me on Facebook, or slide into my Instagram DMs. Also, let me know if anything really stood out to you, really resonated well with you, or really made an impact. I sincerely welcome your feedback, I welcome your friendship, and I'm just so excited to be on this journey together!

xoxo, Lee Ann

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